SeaLegs
Escalante-Class Member
Part Three
The Labor Pool
As many times as I had kept repeating it, Tuna still did not believe I was serious about the Mexico thing. In his own mind he still clung to the notion that the whole thing was just a lark and after floating the canal for just a few hours we would call it good. In those days, schools in Phoenix were not air conditioned and it was far too hot for students and teachers alike to endure the summer months in stuffy classrooms. As a result, school let out for the summer on the last Monday before Memorial Day in May, and did not begin again in the Fall until the first Monday after Labor Day in September. But it was already late in July when we hatched our Mexican exploration scheme and Tuna could not see how we could possibly get the raft built and journey all the way to Mexico before we had to go back to school in September.
“You know, Pete, I think it’s a big long way to Mexico,” he whined. “I bet its every bit at least fifty miles. More even. There’s no way we could do that between now and September. And besides that, my old man ain’t gonna let me go to Mexico and I bet yours won’t either. And another thing, let’s say we did go to Mexico. How are we gonna get back, huh? Tell me that. I mean floating down the river is one thing. But we can’t paddle a raft back, can we? So, you really don’t mean it when you say we are going to Mexico, right?”
I did my best to patiently explain the facts to him. “Look,” I said,, “first off, even if you TOLD your old man we were going to Mexico he wouldn’t believe you anyway. So don’t even bother to ask him if it’s okay. I looked your old man right in the eye and told him straight up what I had in mind. So what did he do? He laughed his butt off.”
“So what about getting’ back home?” Tuna pressed.
“As far as gettin’ back goes, that’s the easiest part of the whole deal,” I said. “When we get there all you have to do is call up your old man on the telephone and you say; ‘Hey, Dad, guess what? Me and Pete are in Mexico! Can you come and get us?’ Nothing to it. What do you think he’s gonna say? NO? Heck, when its all over I bet he’ll want to ride in the Packard with us.”
“What Packard?”
“Ah, geez, Tuna. You got a mind like a steel trap. The problem is that its always sprung shut.”
“So why MY old man? How come we can’t call YOUR old man?”
“Because my old man probably WOULD say no. And look, I measured on the map. Its only about ten inches to Mexico from here. On the map an inch is something like twenty miles. So that means it’s only about two hundred miles to get down there.”
“TWO HUNDRED MILES !“
“Yeah, two hundred miles. Don’t get excited. That’s no big deal. Keep it simple. If we just do twenty miles a day, what’s that come to? Ten days, right? So we got plenty of time to do this yet. We just need to get all the guys together and get started chopping down those trees.”
So we split up the recruiting chore. Tuna was supposed to go talk to the Lindauer boys, Stan Troxel, Richard Simis, Karl Lance, Sid Rosenthal and Toby Lefkowitz. I had to go get Herb Gottchauk lined up, along with Larry Woicek, the Walters brothers, Tony Delgado, Shorty Silva, and a couple of others I forget now.
As anticipated, Tuna got a lot of grief from the Lindauer boys before they agreed to sign on. The Lindauer boys were still pretty sore at me from last Halloween when I did the burning bag trick on their old man. I had a few problems with Tony, too. He had a Grandpa that lived down in Hermosilla, Mexico, and Tony wanted to be able to go along on the trip so he could see his Grandpa. He said the only way he would help would be if he got to go along. I figured I’d deal with that later. But the worst problem I had was with Herbie Gottchauk from next door. Actually, it wasn’t Herbie that was the problem so much as it was his sister, Bonnie.
Apparently Bonnie had a sort of ‘thing’ for me. There were two or three times when she said she hoped we could get married when we grew up. Well, she was a nice enough person. Very friendly. Maybe too friendly, always wanting to do that kissy-face business and all.
But there were a couple of problems with any future marriage plans. Three actually. First, me and Tuna had taken a blood vow to never mess with girls. It involved the pocketknife-point to the fingertips deal with mixing the blood and all that. Second, if I ever DID get married, it would be to Dixie Leonard, a girl in the eighth grade and a year older than me that I was head over heels in love with, but who didn’t even know I was alive. And finally, Bonnie Gottchauk looked just like her brother, Herbie, only with a dress instead of pants, and both she and Herbie looked like a loaf of rising bread dough with arms. And then there was the pumple thing. “Pumples” are really, really big, nasty pimples, and she always had a pretty good crop of those under cultivation. She let me mash one once and it squirted at least three feet. I guess you could call that a sign of true love. Think about it. How many girls would just let you squeeze one of their pumples ?
So Bonnie wanted to be involved. Not just in the construction project. But she too, like Tony Delgado, wanted to be able to come along on the trip. I had to tell her, no way. But I was able to do it without hurting her feelings too bad. I did that by using Tony. I told her we might have to take Tony along and if we included her for a total of four kids, the raft would have to be huge ! We wouldn’t be talking just raft anymore. We’d be talking ARK!
“But Peteee,” she protested, “why can’t you just take ME instead of Tony? I can do things. I could make sandwiches and stuff to take along.”
I shook my head. “No, Bonnie. I can’t. I already kinda promised Tony. He wants to see his Grandpa down in Mexico who’s a hundred and nine years old or something and is like gonna die any minute.”
But I added that she could make us sandwiches while we cut down the trees and that seemed to make her happy. Peanut butter and raspberry jam for me, and Tuna liked peanut butter and sliced banana. She could ask around about what the other guys liked.
For some odd reason I can’t remember or explain, the whole project took on an aura of secrecy. It must have been somebody else’s idea to keep it all a big secret, because it wasn’t my doings. I didn’t see the need. Because like I said, you could come right out and tell people what you were doing and they’d just laugh at you anyway. Nobody would ever take this stuff seriously. But for whatever reason, it was decided we would never work on the raft on weekends. We would only work on it during week days when all the Fathers were at work. That worked out well though, because the guys all had pretty free access to their Father’s tools and stuff.
On the very first day, getting one of those big Tammy-trees cut down proved to be a bit more than we might have reckoned. Everybody brought along some sort of a tool but none of them were worth a tinker’s ding. Teddy Lindauer had brought what must have been around a 24-pt cross-cut hand saw better suited to cabinet making than felling trees. Larry Woicek had something that looked like a toy tomahawk, and Karl Lance brought his Boy Scout hatchet.
The first tree we attacked was about as big around as the big part of a fat kid’s leg and Karl started banging away on it with his hatchet. He never hit the same place twice and all he was doing was making a stack of nicks in the bark that looked like corduroy. With a circle of us standing around him telling him what he was doing wrong, his frustration began to mount commensurately with the volume of sweat running down his forehead and into his eyes.
With redoubled efforts, Karl managed to sling the hatchet’s head off of the handle on a backswing and send it spinning through the air until it smacked
Toby Lefkowitz right in the forehead and sent him running home with a big ugly blue bruise on his head. That was casualty one.
With Karl out of action, Larry Woicek stepped up to have a go at it with his tomahawk with identical results. After ten whacks or so, we were still looking at mangled bark with no sign of the wood under it. Wimpy Teddy was next. He got the saw going and we actually began to see some very small signs of progress. But his arms gave out after just a couple of minutes. Sid Rosenthal took over. Same thing. Five minutes at the most and he was gassed. Herbie, Shorty, Tommy Arnold, Stan, Bobby Fisher,, all those guys took a turn at the crosscut saw, and after what must have been an hour, you could see that the cut was a little more than half way through the tree.
It was slow going but at least you could see it was possible. Until it all went wrong. As the cut progressed it became ever more difficult to push and pull the saw back and forth. Eventually, it wouldn’t move at all. Scott Simis, the biggest kid in the bunch, grabbed the saw handle and yanked on it as hard as he could but it wouldn’t budge. It was hopelessly stuck.
Teddy had started the cut on the wrong side of the tree. He should have stayed with the hatchet-scarred side that the tree leaned away from. But he didn’t. He started on the back side and the tree leaned towards his cut. As the saw passed the halfway mark the tree had begun to sag and it clamped down on the blade with a death grip. We were done.
It was time to regroup and rethink the whole proposition. It didn’t require a Mensa-eligible IQ to realize we would all be old men before we managed to cut down ten or twelve tammy-trees with a hatchet or some wimpy hand saw. We needed some serious cutting tools.
Karl said he was goin’ home and got on his bike. Then one after another the other guys began to drift away. Teddy Lindauer was going nuts. ‘WHAT ABOUT THE SAW? My old man will kill me if I don’t put that saw back before he gets home.”
Tuna did a little palms up shrug. “So what do you want us to do, Teddy? That saw is now part of the tree. Ain’t nothin’ we can do about it.”
“Okay. To hell with you guys then,” Teddy stammered, his lower lip quivering like he was about to bust out bawling. “That’s all the help you’re gettin’ from me. I should’ a never got mixed up with you guys again anyway. You guys are nothin’ but trouble.”
So at the end of day one we lost Teddy Lindauer and Toby Lefkowitz and had yet to fell our first tree. It was not a good beginning.
So Tuna, Bonnie, Herbie and me was just kind of sitting around next to the half cut tree mumbling about our shortcomings when Clyde Gett came shuffling along the canal bank on that dirty old white gelding and asked us what we were up to. Clyde was a year ahead of me and had graduated from the eighth grade and would be starting high school in September at North Phoenix High.
“It’s a long story,” I said.
“I got time.”
So Clyde slid down off of ‘Powder’s’ back and sat down to listen to it. Clyde was good that way. He never butted in or said a mumblin’ word till I was all done. I didn’t leave anything out either. I started off by telling him about my plan to raft all the way down to Mexico and went all the way through it right up to the stuck saw.
He chewed on a Bermuda grass stem the whole time I was talking and when I wound it up he pulled the stem out of his mouth, wagged his head back and forth a time or two and allowed a little grin. “Well I can tell ya right now you ain’t never gonna cut down no tamarack tree with a damned hatchet. What ya’all need is a big old two-man fellin’ saw and a good sharp double-bit axe. My old man had me to cuttin’ enough fence posts to figure that out. Shaggy-bark juniper. Nasty stuff. Worser’n tamaracks even. Axe bounce right off those things if you don’t get a good angle.”
“What do you mean,” I asked. “What’s an angle?”
“You know. One stroke straight. Next one angled down to knock out the chip.”
“Well, no, I don’t know. And it don’t matter anyway. We ain’t got no decent axe and we ain’t got that saw you’re talkin’ about either. We are pretty much at a dead end here.”
“Well we got all that stuff. You round up your crew again and lemme know. I’ll bring the stuff you need and show you guys how it’s done. You can knock down this whole damned forest in a day if you’ve a mind to.”
I had a mind to. And on the way home I don’t think the Schwinn’s wheels even touched the ground. New hope! I felt reborn ! Maybe we could pull it off after all.
Good old Clyde. He was solid. We would be good friends for several years yet to come and he was a better friend than I probably deserved. It was not lost on me that he didn’t bust out laughing or tell me I was nuts when I went on and on about how I wanted to get to Mexico. If he did think I was nuts,, he kept it to himself.
The Labor Pool
As many times as I had kept repeating it, Tuna still did not believe I was serious about the Mexico thing. In his own mind he still clung to the notion that the whole thing was just a lark and after floating the canal for just a few hours we would call it good. In those days, schools in Phoenix were not air conditioned and it was far too hot for students and teachers alike to endure the summer months in stuffy classrooms. As a result, school let out for the summer on the last Monday before Memorial Day in May, and did not begin again in the Fall until the first Monday after Labor Day in September. But it was already late in July when we hatched our Mexican exploration scheme and Tuna could not see how we could possibly get the raft built and journey all the way to Mexico before we had to go back to school in September.
“You know, Pete, I think it’s a big long way to Mexico,” he whined. “I bet its every bit at least fifty miles. More even. There’s no way we could do that between now and September. And besides that, my old man ain’t gonna let me go to Mexico and I bet yours won’t either. And another thing, let’s say we did go to Mexico. How are we gonna get back, huh? Tell me that. I mean floating down the river is one thing. But we can’t paddle a raft back, can we? So, you really don’t mean it when you say we are going to Mexico, right?”
I did my best to patiently explain the facts to him. “Look,” I said,, “first off, even if you TOLD your old man we were going to Mexico he wouldn’t believe you anyway. So don’t even bother to ask him if it’s okay. I looked your old man right in the eye and told him straight up what I had in mind. So what did he do? He laughed his butt off.”
“So what about getting’ back home?” Tuna pressed.
“As far as gettin’ back goes, that’s the easiest part of the whole deal,” I said. “When we get there all you have to do is call up your old man on the telephone and you say; ‘Hey, Dad, guess what? Me and Pete are in Mexico! Can you come and get us?’ Nothing to it. What do you think he’s gonna say? NO? Heck, when its all over I bet he’ll want to ride in the Packard with us.”
“What Packard?”
“Ah, geez, Tuna. You got a mind like a steel trap. The problem is that its always sprung shut.”
“So why MY old man? How come we can’t call YOUR old man?”
“Because my old man probably WOULD say no. And look, I measured on the map. Its only about ten inches to Mexico from here. On the map an inch is something like twenty miles. So that means it’s only about two hundred miles to get down there.”
“TWO HUNDRED MILES !“
“Yeah, two hundred miles. Don’t get excited. That’s no big deal. Keep it simple. If we just do twenty miles a day, what’s that come to? Ten days, right? So we got plenty of time to do this yet. We just need to get all the guys together and get started chopping down those trees.”
So we split up the recruiting chore. Tuna was supposed to go talk to the Lindauer boys, Stan Troxel, Richard Simis, Karl Lance, Sid Rosenthal and Toby Lefkowitz. I had to go get Herb Gottchauk lined up, along with Larry Woicek, the Walters brothers, Tony Delgado, Shorty Silva, and a couple of others I forget now.
As anticipated, Tuna got a lot of grief from the Lindauer boys before they agreed to sign on. The Lindauer boys were still pretty sore at me from last Halloween when I did the burning bag trick on their old man. I had a few problems with Tony, too. He had a Grandpa that lived down in Hermosilla, Mexico, and Tony wanted to be able to go along on the trip so he could see his Grandpa. He said the only way he would help would be if he got to go along. I figured I’d deal with that later. But the worst problem I had was with Herbie Gottchauk from next door. Actually, it wasn’t Herbie that was the problem so much as it was his sister, Bonnie.
Apparently Bonnie had a sort of ‘thing’ for me. There were two or three times when she said she hoped we could get married when we grew up. Well, she was a nice enough person. Very friendly. Maybe too friendly, always wanting to do that kissy-face business and all.
But there were a couple of problems with any future marriage plans. Three actually. First, me and Tuna had taken a blood vow to never mess with girls. It involved the pocketknife-point to the fingertips deal with mixing the blood and all that. Second, if I ever DID get married, it would be to Dixie Leonard, a girl in the eighth grade and a year older than me that I was head over heels in love with, but who didn’t even know I was alive. And finally, Bonnie Gottchauk looked just like her brother, Herbie, only with a dress instead of pants, and both she and Herbie looked like a loaf of rising bread dough with arms. And then there was the pumple thing. “Pumples” are really, really big, nasty pimples, and she always had a pretty good crop of those under cultivation. She let me mash one once and it squirted at least three feet. I guess you could call that a sign of true love. Think about it. How many girls would just let you squeeze one of their pumples ?
So Bonnie wanted to be involved. Not just in the construction project. But she too, like Tony Delgado, wanted to be able to come along on the trip. I had to tell her, no way. But I was able to do it without hurting her feelings too bad. I did that by using Tony. I told her we might have to take Tony along and if we included her for a total of four kids, the raft would have to be huge ! We wouldn’t be talking just raft anymore. We’d be talking ARK!
“But Peteee,” she protested, “why can’t you just take ME instead of Tony? I can do things. I could make sandwiches and stuff to take along.”
I shook my head. “No, Bonnie. I can’t. I already kinda promised Tony. He wants to see his Grandpa down in Mexico who’s a hundred and nine years old or something and is like gonna die any minute.”
But I added that she could make us sandwiches while we cut down the trees and that seemed to make her happy. Peanut butter and raspberry jam for me, and Tuna liked peanut butter and sliced banana. She could ask around about what the other guys liked.
For some odd reason I can’t remember or explain, the whole project took on an aura of secrecy. It must have been somebody else’s idea to keep it all a big secret, because it wasn’t my doings. I didn’t see the need. Because like I said, you could come right out and tell people what you were doing and they’d just laugh at you anyway. Nobody would ever take this stuff seriously. But for whatever reason, it was decided we would never work on the raft on weekends. We would only work on it during week days when all the Fathers were at work. That worked out well though, because the guys all had pretty free access to their Father’s tools and stuff.
On the very first day, getting one of those big Tammy-trees cut down proved to be a bit more than we might have reckoned. Everybody brought along some sort of a tool but none of them were worth a tinker’s ding. Teddy Lindauer had brought what must have been around a 24-pt cross-cut hand saw better suited to cabinet making than felling trees. Larry Woicek had something that looked like a toy tomahawk, and Karl Lance brought his Boy Scout hatchet.
The first tree we attacked was about as big around as the big part of a fat kid’s leg and Karl started banging away on it with his hatchet. He never hit the same place twice and all he was doing was making a stack of nicks in the bark that looked like corduroy. With a circle of us standing around him telling him what he was doing wrong, his frustration began to mount commensurately with the volume of sweat running down his forehead and into his eyes.
With redoubled efforts, Karl managed to sling the hatchet’s head off of the handle on a backswing and send it spinning through the air until it smacked
Toby Lefkowitz right in the forehead and sent him running home with a big ugly blue bruise on his head. That was casualty one.
With Karl out of action, Larry Woicek stepped up to have a go at it with his tomahawk with identical results. After ten whacks or so, we were still looking at mangled bark with no sign of the wood under it. Wimpy Teddy was next. He got the saw going and we actually began to see some very small signs of progress. But his arms gave out after just a couple of minutes. Sid Rosenthal took over. Same thing. Five minutes at the most and he was gassed. Herbie, Shorty, Tommy Arnold, Stan, Bobby Fisher,, all those guys took a turn at the crosscut saw, and after what must have been an hour, you could see that the cut was a little more than half way through the tree.
It was slow going but at least you could see it was possible. Until it all went wrong. As the cut progressed it became ever more difficult to push and pull the saw back and forth. Eventually, it wouldn’t move at all. Scott Simis, the biggest kid in the bunch, grabbed the saw handle and yanked on it as hard as he could but it wouldn’t budge. It was hopelessly stuck.
Teddy had started the cut on the wrong side of the tree. He should have stayed with the hatchet-scarred side that the tree leaned away from. But he didn’t. He started on the back side and the tree leaned towards his cut. As the saw passed the halfway mark the tree had begun to sag and it clamped down on the blade with a death grip. We were done.
It was time to regroup and rethink the whole proposition. It didn’t require a Mensa-eligible IQ to realize we would all be old men before we managed to cut down ten or twelve tammy-trees with a hatchet or some wimpy hand saw. We needed some serious cutting tools.
Karl said he was goin’ home and got on his bike. Then one after another the other guys began to drift away. Teddy Lindauer was going nuts. ‘WHAT ABOUT THE SAW? My old man will kill me if I don’t put that saw back before he gets home.”
Tuna did a little palms up shrug. “So what do you want us to do, Teddy? That saw is now part of the tree. Ain’t nothin’ we can do about it.”
“Okay. To hell with you guys then,” Teddy stammered, his lower lip quivering like he was about to bust out bawling. “That’s all the help you’re gettin’ from me. I should’ a never got mixed up with you guys again anyway. You guys are nothin’ but trouble.”
So at the end of day one we lost Teddy Lindauer and Toby Lefkowitz and had yet to fell our first tree. It was not a good beginning.
So Tuna, Bonnie, Herbie and me was just kind of sitting around next to the half cut tree mumbling about our shortcomings when Clyde Gett came shuffling along the canal bank on that dirty old white gelding and asked us what we were up to. Clyde was a year ahead of me and had graduated from the eighth grade and would be starting high school in September at North Phoenix High.
“It’s a long story,” I said.
“I got time.”
So Clyde slid down off of ‘Powder’s’ back and sat down to listen to it. Clyde was good that way. He never butted in or said a mumblin’ word till I was all done. I didn’t leave anything out either. I started off by telling him about my plan to raft all the way down to Mexico and went all the way through it right up to the stuck saw.
He chewed on a Bermuda grass stem the whole time I was talking and when I wound it up he pulled the stem out of his mouth, wagged his head back and forth a time or two and allowed a little grin. “Well I can tell ya right now you ain’t never gonna cut down no tamarack tree with a damned hatchet. What ya’all need is a big old two-man fellin’ saw and a good sharp double-bit axe. My old man had me to cuttin’ enough fence posts to figure that out. Shaggy-bark juniper. Nasty stuff. Worser’n tamaracks even. Axe bounce right off those things if you don’t get a good angle.”
“What do you mean,” I asked. “What’s an angle?”
“You know. One stroke straight. Next one angled down to knock out the chip.”
“Well, no, I don’t know. And it don’t matter anyway. We ain’t got no decent axe and we ain’t got that saw you’re talkin’ about either. We are pretty much at a dead end here.”
“Well we got all that stuff. You round up your crew again and lemme know. I’ll bring the stuff you need and show you guys how it’s done. You can knock down this whole damned forest in a day if you’ve a mind to.”
I had a mind to. And on the way home I don’t think the Schwinn’s wheels even touched the ground. New hope! I felt reborn ! Maybe we could pull it off after all.
Good old Clyde. He was solid. We would be good friends for several years yet to come and he was a better friend than I probably deserved. It was not lost on me that he didn’t bust out laughing or tell me I was nuts when I went on and on about how I wanted to get to Mexico. If he did think I was nuts,, he kept it to himself.



