Well... that is certainly an interesting approach. You should have hung on to that one until April 1.
A real Gem.
The half I wasn't serious about was where the Bureau of Reclamation pays me $5 M per year. Everything else is spot on.
I've decided to cut my fee to 1/10th of 1% per year, a paltry $500K per anum until I die. I'll even write in my will to return the entire $500,000 the year I die so they don't have to feel like they got taken advantage of if I happen to die before December 31 of that year.
I'm such a swell guy, ain't I?